beginnings and ends

I resist looking up and ahead
I want to maintain
a sense of mystery
Does it really matter where exactly I am?
Or where exactly I am going?
I have just enough information
and no more than I need
to travel through this moment
to the next

There is a vertigo
that surrounds me
when I look forward in time
to the end of a swim
that has only just begun
I feel tossed back and forth
between beginnings and ends
trying to find my place in between