A Dingy Haze

Left the house a little after 10 this morning. These mornings have been down right cold lately, but I am just starting to feel some warmth from the sun as I get in the car.

Passing Doheny, the water looks super glassy and nice.

When I get to the beach parking lot, it is for sure a beautiful day but the horizon looks a little dirty. I think I heard there was a local fire yesterday or the day before. That would definitely explain this dingy haze.

I get to the beach and the tide is pretty low. It is supposed to be a -0.6 in few hours and I can already see quite a few rocks above the water inside the surf line.

The water feels cold on my feet. It is still in the same neighborhood it was Sunday. This time of year, it is not likely to recover any time soon. My experience the last few years is that after the initial plunge into the 50’s, it is here to stay until the last few days of March. However there is always hope. This is only my third cold season. For all I know, the last two were anomalies and we will get a few 65 degree weeks in the next couple months. I’m not holding my breath.

I drop off my backpack and excess clothes and then head on out into the water. The surf might be just a touch bigger than last weekend. I dive under a wave and start my swim.

I have probably said this a million times before but the initial plunge is never as bad as you think it is going to be and if anything, it’s a relief to get it behind you. I can spend hours in the morning somewhat obsessing over it and then it happens and its not so bad, maybe even good, but definitely great to be on the other side of it.

Boy this water has been so clear the last week and today is no different. It is super awesome. On most days, this water is pretty cloudy and you just have a solid blue-green screen to look at but on days like these it is like wandering through a park where you have the chance to see interesting vistas even and especially when your face is below the surface.

I see a couple Calico Bass on my way south. As I head back north there is a small boat just out past me and birds are landing all around it.

As per usual, the cold presses in about a third of the way into my northbound journey. I just keep swimming. I’m wondering if I focus too much on trying to make it comfortable. We all want to be comfortable. We all want to be warm. I mean I know I do. Maybe I just need to accept the discomfort and accept that there will be parts of the swim that will be difficult and that’s totally ok.

It’s difficult but I do enjoy being here. I do enjoy having a direct experience of the elements. Even when it is difficult, it is still rewarding and in some ways even more so once the swim is done.

I feel like my body has passed through some kind of barrier and overcome an obstacle that part of me feared could not be overcome. I wonder if and hope that these swims are leveraging my brain’s neuroplasticity and building new neural pathways and rewiring my brain to better cope with stress and fear.

Before I finish the swim I notice that my camera is “frozen.” Not literally but like a computer that does not respond to mouse and key activity. I can’t get it into photo mode. The upshot of this annoyance is that it takes my mind off the cold.

When I finish my swim and get dry, I remove and re-insert the battery which does the trick.

The tide is even lower now and the beach is beautifu even it is does seem a little smokey.