Woke up to a drizzly morning this Friday at 4:30. I figured by the time 9 or 10 rolls around and I head out for my swim, that would be all long gone. I mean, according to google not only is there no precipitation expected today but there is no precipitation right NOW. This is clearly some sort of meteorological anomaly that will end soon. Also it’s May! When will this madness end?

Welp, 9:00 comes and goes and I still see drops falling. What to do? I’m standing in my kitchen weighing the pros and cons of swim or run. Part of me finds the idea of getting into the ocean repulsive - I’m already a little cold, its wet and my poor backpack might get some moisture on it and there is already a good breeze going and the ocean surface is rough. Then again as I have often commented, I know I will feel good during and after the swim, none of these conditions are dangerous, and it’s Friday and I particularly love to swim on Fridays. Well I certainly can’t just stand here forever. I’m already in my swim trunks - lets go!

Passing by Doheny, the water looks angry and bitter. I get to the parking lot and the ground is wet but the air feels dryer than it did at home. However by the time I get to the sand, things have changed and its a solid drizzle. Oh come on Matt, it’s DRIZZLE, I think you can handle it. I’m definitely past the point of no return and I’m committed. I stuff my backpack underneath a boulder so it won’t get wet and I head out into the surf. I’m cold but I know that today I will actually be warmer in the water than I am now standing in the wind. I walk out to waist deep water and dive under the next wave and then start swimming out. Just like yesterday, I am immediately transformed. There is nothing repulsive about this. I am alive and it is good.

I often think about this transformation I so often experience after diving in the water. So much of it is really hard to describe. All I can say for sure is that it changes my energy. I believe our experience of life is all about the energy that comes our way and how we respond to it. This energy is not some separate thing from our bodies. Our bodies are energy too. When we jump into a natural body of water, our environment can change drastically, impacting our physiology and causing us to shift into a different mindset that we simply are not able to comprehend in a different environment. These shifts can of course be for better or for worse, but this shift I am experiencing now is definitely good. I feel energized with the coolness and movement of the water. My troubles seem so much farther away. They remain on shore but I am not on shore. I am here in the ocean right now and those troubles keep their distance while I am here. I’ve come to believe that we can change our energy on dry land as well. I could say that it is all about having a positive outlook, blah blah blah. In large part I think it is but there are serious nuances we may miss if we try to always be positive. Ultimately I think a lot of it has to do with our beliefs. Again there are nuances - we can’t believe away what is in front of us. So beliefs, positivity, etc. they are just words I use to try to describe an energy shift shat I am acutely cognitive of but simply cannot verbally express in a pure way.

I’m swimming and it feels like I am in the spin cycle of a washing machine. As I begin I find myself fighting with this current. Got to make headway! It’s pushing me back! Will I ever make it to the end?! I realize I just need to relax both my mind and my body. Simply take this stroke by stroke and I will get to where I am going. Fortunately this turns out to be true and it feels good to just settle in. There are a couple of spots along my swim where I always feel like I am making much slower headway - like between the northern bathrooms and the row of beach facing homes. Today it just feels like I am swimming in place in this gap. I remember that I often feel like this and I have never NOT made my way south. I don’t know if it is the water or my perspective from that point. I’m pretty sure it’s the latter.

I finally get to the end of the swim, grab my pack and head up. It’s not warm, but I don’t feel like toweling off in this moisture. It’s looking now like we probably won’t see blue skies at all today but that’s all right. This memory will sustain me today.