I’ll Settle For this Indirection

I’m out of the house just a little after 11:15. It’s a clear sky with some slight haze on the horizon. The sun feels good and there is a light breeze starting to pick up.

I got a new camera yesterday afternoon and I have been spending a good part of the morning trying to figure out how it works. It’s pretty different from my last camera and the documentation is pretty horrible so I’m experimenting and googling so I can take it out into the water today with high confidence that I will come back with pictures. Then I need to actually get the pictures off the camera, edited and onto this post. All of this is way more complex than I would like it to be.

So I’m driving to the beach and my head is more in my camera software than in the upcoming swim. I’m sure that after a couple of swims with the new camera, unless it totally sucks which is entirely possible, I’ll hardly think of the mechanics of taking and downloading the pictures and my mind can focus on the actual swim.

Traffic to the beach seems particularly bad today. It is a Saturday and the weather is nicer than it has been the last couple of weekends. It seems like every traffic light is backed up. According to my phone, next weekend should be in the 70’s. We’ll see if that actually comes to pass but I’m definitely all for it.

I get to the parking lot and it feels sunnier here now than when I left. The air is pleasantly warm and I walk down the stairs in just a T-shirt and I can feel the sun on my arms and it’s good. The tide is low, about 1.5, and getting lower. It looks like that trough that has been here for several weeks is filling in and the rocks sitting at the bottom of it are practically gone. All in all, it’s a nice day at the beach.

The water feels cool but no cooler than it has the last couple weeks. This week’s water temperature forecast was calling for some possible cooling mid week due to west winds but those didn’t end up arriving with any significant strength or persistence. Who knows, if we get those 70+ air temps later this week, maybe we will get further into the low 60’s. I’d say we are hovering around 60 right now.

I walk out into the water and it remains at knee depth for quite a ways. Finally, I reach a swimmable level and I dive under the next breaking wave. Well the new camera is definitely wet now. I hope it still works. I’m swimming south and enjoying this cool water. I notice how the water undoubtedly feels cold but it just doesn’t bother me. Then again it is 60 degree cold and not 55 degree cold and both of those temperatures are entirely different animals. It feels good to watch the beach just glide by on this sunny day.

I reach the south end and pull out the camera. It’s still alive! I manage to take a few pictures with 0 drama, which is just the right amount.

I head north and I feel pretty great most of the way. I travel through many sections where the water feels almost warm. Eventually I feel really tired. My mind is playing a sort of tug-of-war with the cold. It reaches this point of overwhelm and anxiety but when I try to validate my concern with the actual temperature of the water, it just doesn’t feel that bad. I wonder where the anxiety comes from. Is it really the cold or is it my exhaustion or is it both? The water is not warm but when I relax my body, my consciousness follows and the water feels more tolerable.

Sometimes I wonder if this northbound section feels harder because I don’t have anything to look at that indicates progress. It’s just water, sky and clouds. It begins to feel like I am going to be swimming forever. Overall the water seems pretty calm today but also has some bump to it so that the horizon is a dynamic and wildly bending line that frequently folds inward onto my face. My mind complains: I am so far from shore, my arms are tired, I am out of breath, the water is cold. Yes, all of these things are true. I stop and feel myself straining to catch my breath yet I have total faith that I am more than capable of finishing this swim in these fairly benign conditions.

I gaze out onto the bathrooms that are my turnaround point. I can make this. They are getting closer. Soon I do make it and I point myself toward the asphalt road I originally walked down to get here and begin the final leg of the swim. I try to dial down my intensity just a bit. No need to tucker myself out. As I get closer to shore, I can clearly see sandy bottom and things take on a new and wonderful tranquility.

I make a 90 degree left turn for shore and before I know it my hand is brushing against the floor and I begin to walk. I can feel the sun on my skin and notice how the tide has come down further than where it was an hour ago or, more precisely, an hour and 20 minutes ago. I fetch my pack which is awkward because there is a young couple lying right in front of it engaging in activity clearly not meant for my viewing consumption. Then again, we are on a public beach and there are plenty of fine hotel establishments nearby they could take advantage of if they wanted to. I manage to mentally filter them out of my direct experience which I suppose makes the experience a bit less direct. I’ll settle for this indirection.

When I get back to my car, I manage to download my pics pretty easily and also notice that the camera is still 75% charged. This thing might just work!