Out of the house by 6 this morning. It’s overcast out and I’m just going to fully accept and embrace that because there is nothing I can do about it and you know what? It’s nice! It’s peaceful and is totally its own beauty. It is not the sunshine I’ve been wanting with the vibrant energy and good vibes of what I remember those glorious summer days to be. But it is what I have been given right now and it is a gift and there is much goodness here in what is happening right now.

I get to the beach and it is a peaceful lake. It seems like every day over the last 10 days, the surf comes down a notch. I don’t know how many notches can possibly be left. For a wave rider of the various wave riding mediums available (surfing, body boarding, body surfing, etc.) this is kind of a bummer but as a swimmer it is pretty great. There are times when I absolutely like contending with significant surf but it is always stressful to some degree and these flat conditions are totally stress free. I like stress free.

The surface is beautiful, smooth and glassy. Visibility is not great but decent. Whatever it is it is very pretty. The ocean floor looks a lovely blue-green in the sandy spots with the rocks providing a dark contrasting silhouette. The kelp appears to glow from the light near the surface and it disappears into a black void. The water temperature is very comfortable and I swim.

My mind is praying for clarity and direction. I often have that feeling like there is a veil in front of me and there is something that I have been trying to get to all of my life that is just on the other side. Whatever is there feels so close I could almost touch it but I can’t. Its like walking in the dark and sensing that something is right in front of you. I feel like there is a cloud in my head that if it would just dissipate, I could see it and the path would be clear. I want to see it. I feel like there is this disconnect between who I am and what I am doing with my life. At times, I get all bothered by this. Often when I sense this bothersome feeling, I stop myself and try to get quiet inside and I say to myself, “today I choose to align with my higher self.” This does help me gain clarity and a sense of freedom and ease. It doesn’t necessarily give me vision for some grand plan that will get me to that place I want to be (wherever that is). Rather, I feel my heart open and have a sense that I am inevitably moving in the direction of where I am meant to be. When I feel lost and in need of hope and stretch my inner ear to hear what God wants to tell me, what I most often hear is the phrase, “just keep moving forward.” This is actually a practice I have indulged for over 30 years and even through my most agnostic and atheistic periods of my life. While I have not always believed in any kind of a God that wants to engage with us personally, I have always believed that there is a whisper we all have access to that connects us and everything together in ultimate truth. Wow that sounds corny but I don’t know how else to put it today.

Anyways, I am swimming closer to shore than usual today. Why not? There are certainly no waves to avoid today and it changes up the scenery a bit…maybe? I mean I guess the seaweed here looks pretty much the same as it does further out. I get to my first turnaround point at the Southern cliff. Today the large rock that I use as my turnaround landmark is just 10-15 feet away instead of 100. There are no waves to push me into it. It is so incredibly peaceful here as I wade for a bit to soak this in.

I head North now and pass Ricky Bobby and finally get to Bob Marley, the Jr. Lifeguard buoys that have just shown up this week. I turn around just past Bob Markey and head back to where I began. Like clockwork as I get out of the water, the 7:30 swim crowd has arrived and is just beginning their swim. I don’t really know them but certainly feel a connection with them as fellow ocean swimmers and they have always been super super friendly. I want to snap a pic (as seen at the top of the post) and a few of them wave and I wave back. That gives me a small dopamine boost and I head home.