Leaving the Space Capsule

From the moment I got up this morning, I was pretty much settled on NOT swimming but willing to hold it open as an option until the last moment. It was 44 degrees outside and the thought of getting in the water - even just walking to the beach - seemed like cruel and unusual punishment. I need to be home by 8:30 with no workout window later in the day. So I have to leave at 6:15 to be safe. It might not even be light at 6:15. Oh that seems like a great excuse. Of course by the time I get to the water it will be just past sunrise. Nope. It can’t possibly work out. I’ll just have to run or go to the gym - too bad.

At 6:00 I really need to make a decision. I need to either get my running gear on or switch out the batteries in my underwater camera. I sit motionless weighing my options. I can already see some light on the water looking at the web cams. The wind is lighter than forecasted. It honestly looks nice. Tide is on the high side. Above all other arguments, it is FREAKING COLD. However I know how cold the water is. It’s not insane.

In the end, I think sure, I can take a run and go to the gym. I can check off the workout box and remain reasonably comfortable or I can go have a unique and possibly amazing experience in the ocean. I stand myself up and proceed to grab my swim trunks. All the while I can hardly believe I am doing this. I mentally delete the running option. It no longer exists. Did it really ever?

I don’t make it to the car until 6:22 so I got to hustle. It is absolutely light outside so that is no longer a viable excuse. The sun has not had the chance to warm my car so I’m cold all the way to the beach. I can’t bring myself to turn on the heater prior to this swim.

I get to the parking lot, grab my stuff and head down the stairs at a semi jog. When I get to the asphalt I see two or three dolphins in the water heading north. I hope they are dolphins. I don’t have my glasses on and I’ve been listening to an audible book about sharks which makes me think more about sharks. I’m sure these are dolphins.

The water is coming up to the rocks but I don’t have an issue getting to my spot. I have the luxury of walking on sand this week. The tide is on the rise so I wonder how it will be when I finish. Surf is small so I’m not concerned with getting slammed into the rocks. Worse case I swim onto the rock, climb up to my pack and take the trail back.

After just a few steps into the water I start to swim mainly because I figure I might actually be more comfortable fully immersed than I am now half way out in this cold air. I take the plunge and I’m off. I think to myself, “well I am actually doing this.” All in all I do not feel like I am going to die. A positive sign.

It really is a beautiful morning. The sky is crystal clear blue - a deep rich early morning blue. There is a thin strip of orange along the horizon separating the water from the sky. While it is technically past sunrise, there is still no sighting of the sun here below the cliff. The water is a completely different scene from yesterday afternoon. Was that the same beach? The water is slightly textured from an offshore breeze but relatively calm overall. I can actually make out the set waves from the rest of the water.

I swim south. Sure I’m cold but I pay attention to my body and I feel good. I just keep breathing and every now and then I feel undertones of warmth. The beach slides along my field of view at a steady clip. It feels like this is all moving along rather quickly. Sometimes I think I can feel the small patch of skin on my back that sits above the water in this cold air. I don’t see a soul on this beach.

After I reach the end of the beach I turn around and watch the horizon all the way to the edge of Salt Creek. There are lots of birds out this morning - mostly Cormorants. I used to find them uninteresting but have recently changed my mind. I think their long necks give them an affable character and I like watching them take off from the water where they make a splashing commotion with their wings until they are fully airborne.

I am constantly checking in with the cold. It serves as the focal point that my mind continually returns to. I rest upon the cold and find an inner silence. Just as colder temperatures make for less agitation at the subatomic level, so it stills my thoughts. I mean as I swim encased in this cold, what else is there to think about? My mind wanders to dreams where it’s considered crazy to swim in this water without a wetsuit and I think that I guess I’ll probably die. Then I realize it is not a dream and I realize that the cold is just cold and that I am far from expiration. Somehow I just keep moving forward.

I make it to the Salt Creek lifeguard tower in what feels like record time. Just about any pace would probably feel fast today compared to yesterday’s resistance from the wind and chop. I sense the sun following me all the way as I feel its light beginning to pierce the water behind me and adding a glow to the hazy view below the surface. You would think the ocean floor is a hundred feet below because I see no sand, no rock, no kelp and not even shadows. I imagine the light feeling warm on my back but I think it is just that - my imagination.

I’m heading back to my final destination now. I imagine how I feel when I get out. It’s like wondering what it would be like to leave the space capsule without a space suit. Will I be able to breathe? Will I be rendered unmovable by the density of the atmosphere? I’m really wondering if I’ll need to put on layers immediately or can I wait until I rinse off?

I make it to the end. I grab my pack. The tide has indeed come up. I decide I am going to walk to the showers at the lower bathrooms and rinse off there even though I consider that shower inferior to the one up top. At first this seems entirely plausible. I have to wait a couple of times on the way to the ramp for a wave or two to pass before proceeding on the sand that appears and disappears in a constant rhythm with the surf. By the time I get to the asphalt I am trying to power through the cold. I am so close. The shower waits at the top of the blacktop just a couple hundred feet to go. There is no cold. What is cold? Warmth is an illusion. We simply move through air that vibrates at different frequencies.

Ok I am at the showers. Oh my God what sadist invented these showers? I would like to devote the rest of my life to learning all there is to know about shower construction so that I can right the oh so many wrongs in the design of this shower.

After showering I dry off and put on a few layers but I have nothing for my feet. Why do I do this to myself? I feel mostly good now with the obvious exception of my feet. I feel like I am walking on stumps all the way up the stairs. My lower legs feel encumbered by some hidden dead weight. Once I reach the top I can see the sun shine on the concrete near the parking lot but I notice notice nothing as I walk over it. I just need to make it to the car and, unlike the drive here, I now have absolutely no problem blasting the heater.