I wasn’t going to swim today. I was all ready to change into my running shorts. I was stressed about the work I needed to get done, but I also wondered just how many swim days were in the cards later in the week. As busy as I am, today is an ideal day to get into the water. The weather is still warm and I might as well take advantage. So I promise myself that this blog post is going to be short. Let’s just see how that works out.

I’m looking at the web cams and Strands is foggy but slightly visible. From the Doheny cams, which is closer to where I will be swimming, I can see the fog bank offshore but it looks very doable. So I leave my apartment at 11:30 and am stepping foot into the water at 11:45. I love that.

Things are foggier than they looked on the cam here. However there is still good visibility. I see the fog bank outside but thre are clouds wafting overhead as the fog seems to be coalescing here from wherever it is originating from. Where would that be? I guess the ocean right? Is that where the coastal fog comes from? Sounds plausible enough.

I head into the water and it is downright grey out here both above and below the surface. I do think visibility is improving. I have a clear view of my hands today. The water has a lot of texture mostly from the wakes coming from the northwest. It’s clear that I am heading into the current as I push north.

With each breath I lift my head above the surface and am met with a splash of water into the face from this swell. Some splashes are more aggressive than others.

I am emptying myself into the water. I try to relax my mind and let myself just be the breath I am breathing and the stroke I am leaning into at this moment. The ocean here has everything I need and all the information I need to know. I don’t need anything extra for the duration of the swim. I have worries and cares and disappointments and inner struggles that I have brought with me, but for now I can set them all on the water to float about and bounce around. They do not require any further tending to right now.

From time to time I look up toward the blue vacant lifeguard towers that are stowed away on the road waiting to be put back onto the sand later this Summer. Like them, I look forward to that time. Now they serve as a beacon that draws me forward past the hotels and condos. It feels like this takes forever, but right here I have an abundance of forever. I also know that the trip back will go super fast.

The sun makes a bit more of an appearance as I come further north. Can I feel it? I’m not sure but I pretend that I do and that’s good enough.

Just before I turn around, I look to the south behind me and notice that the fog has made quite a bit of progress. In fact I cannot see the houses on Beach Road and can barely make out the Capo Beach parking lot. I am confident it is still there. I’ll try to keep close to shore. I know where I am going.

When I do turn around, things go pretty much as I imagined they would. My face is away from the oncoming wakes and I am swimming in their same direction. It’s gotten a lot easier but I’m also pooped. While I never lose sight of the shore, its visibility waxes and wanes in the fog. I’m close to shore which presents its own challenges with the small surf. A couple of times I need to retreat west and add a buffer between me and the breaking waves.

Ahhh…there is that parking lot. I’m close now but feel so far. Given the diagonal trajectory of the swell, my fatigue and the meager visibility, I feel slightly disoriented but not distressed. I don’t have any doubt that I will be on the shore soon. There are a few surfers right here and I use them to judge where I need to be.

I come to shore well past where I started. I’m probably three houses further down the beach. I walk to the trough that sits just before the dryer sand and then I hop over it and land shin deep in the soft, coarse gravely floor. I pull myself out and then run home.

I was so ambivalent about doing this swim and had I known it would be so foggy, I probably would not have come, but I am glad that I did. In fact as I was begrudgingly putting on my trunks before heading out, I remember telling myself just this. It seems like such an unpleasant thing to do but I absolutely know I will feel great afterwards. I just love being right about these things.