The Best Day of Winter

I left the house at about 12:00. Supposedly it is the first day of Spring today but we still have a few hours until the equinox so technically it’s still Winter. However take one good look outside and you would think it is Summer. The skies are crystal clear and it’s in the mid 60’s - 63 - that’s “mid” right?

As I look onto the ocean from the parking lot, the surface looks pretty smooth and more calm than it has looked in a few swims. It really is genuinely warm out. I’m wearing a long sleeved over shirt over my t-shirt and I really don’t know why. Passing the lower bathrooms and turning onto the asphalt road to the shore, I see a wave just starting to peel. It is a translucent teal then green then white as it breaks. It is low tide - below a foot. The beach floor is golden blonde and stretches far far out from the cliff toward the water.

Whenever I get to the shore, I always like to put my feet in the water first thing and stay in up to my ankles as I walk to my starting spot. Today it feels like I have to go way out of the way to get to the water but then I realize it is not out of the way at all. It’s exactly where I am headed.

Soon I hike back up to the rocks to set down my stuff. There are several sun bathers here and I need to find an alternate spot for my pack. Heading to the water I take in this view and it looks like a picture from a magazine. No need to book a flight to the tropics today. Until, that is, I get in the water. It might be about 20 degrees cooler than Hawaii. Still not terrible.

The water is clear and the surf is small. I get to chest deep water and I want to lean forward to start swimming but the water is flowing toward me and resisting my fall so I have to push myself more forcefully into the water.

Yeah, definitely not Hawaii right here. My mid to lower arms feel particularly cold. Despite this cold, it all looks amazing and the brunt of the cold quickly gives way to more comfortable surroundings as I adapt. I stay pretty close to shore as I head south until I see white water breaking towards the cliffs and then I steer westward to avoid the waves. Once I reach the end, I sit here for a while at stare at the rocks just 15 feet or so away from me. The low tide reveals quite a bit here and it looks very picturesque. As the waves ebb and flow, I watch these rocks show and hide themselves in constant rhythm.

I turn and head north and over the length of the beach I manage to drift much further out and need to correct course several times trying to point myself directly for the Salt Creek point lifeguard tower. Somehow I just keep drifting back out and I lift up my head to find the Laguna hills in front of me. Not a bad view at all but not where I am headed.

As I make my way north I empty my mind into the ocean. With every exhale I try to give away all the mental real estate that I own. I stare onto the horizon and just see water and light. I gaze below me and there is just a blue amniotic-like fluid that surrounds me. Sometimes, and for some pretty significant stretches, the water feels downright warm. There are also several stretches where it is quite the opposite and it feels like someone nearby dropped a load of ice into the water.

I hear music in my head and I see people in my minds eye. Familiar faces pass before me like dreams cast onto the ocean floor. I want to empty my mind to make room for more of this water. I feel the cold energy expand in my throat and radiate outward. I want to give everything to the water. Let it all evaporate up to the sky and rain back down on me new and clean.

That shore is looking pretty far away. The further out I get from the bathrooms, the harder it is to gauge if I am north or south of them. I need to be north before I turn around. I meet up with several full stalks of kelp. Their tips reach out towards me and I swim over them as they arch down to the bottom out of sight.

Ok, where am I? It looks like I am right in front of the bathrooms. Hmm…maybe not…just a little ways more. No no no, it looks like I am just past them. Good enough then. I turn around and begin to head back. I can feel the fatigue in my arms and my legs have cramped up, just lightly, a couple times. My right hand I don’t feel at all but I checked and I know it’s there.

I’m definitely getting closer to shore and see the waves breaking closer and closer. The rocks pass below me like small islands. And this sun…oh this sun this sun this sun. This might just be the very best day of winter if you are into sorting out the “good” from the “bad.” I’m back in the shallows now and blissfully walking back towards dry sand. Everything around me looks great. I get my pack and head back up the stairs. I’m in a sort of sun coma as I ascend and realize once I am almost to the top that if I put my right hand, which I still can’t feel, on the warm metal railing, it’s like some sort of tactile opiate that is both safe and legal. I try to restrain myself from moaning in pleasure.

I rinse off at the cold shower and want to let out a different kind of moan. However given what I just spent the last hour in, it’s really not all that unpleasant. When I get to my warm car, I take a seat and it’s quiet inside and there is just the silence of the beach behind me. I want to close my eyes and stay here forever.