Still Warm

We had a cloudy start to the day this morning. I walked the dogs and ran to the gym for 50 minutes of elliptical and by the time I left for the beach at about 10, there was some broad patches of blue sky making its way through the clouds.

Passing by Doheny on the way to the Strand, it looked like there was quite a bit of texture on the water.

When I drove into the Dana Strand parking lot, the surface didn’t look quite as bad but it certainly was not smooth. There is a good south breeze blowing which is probably why things are not glassy.

As I make my way down the stairs, the sun feels very warm even though it is just over 70. There is more blue sky showing and I’m pretty sure this is a trend that will continue through my swim.

As I often do before getting in the water, I’m imagining what it is going to feel like. I’m imagining the cold and think, “but I’m nice and warm right now.” All the while I know that it is going to be incredibly pleasant today. I do this in the Winter too and even though it is indeed cold in Winter, it is never ever ever as bad as I imagine and I’m always happy I got in the water. I have never once wished that I did not get in the water. Yet somehow I can convince myself that today will certainly be the exception. This is why I always give myself permission to get out of the water at any time, but I have to at least get in.

Anyways, on a day like today and with the water temps being what they have been, it does not take much convincing me that my mind is just playing dirty tricks and I am quite confident that experience will win over thought.

Sure enough I reach the beach and the water feels the same as it has all week - heavenly. I get in, the waves break against my upper body, I try to relax but brace for impact with cold and realize the cold is not cold. Not today.

The clouds give the water surface a silverish hue. There is still some brown in the water today but less so than yesterday.

Like yesterday, I’m finding it easy to relax into this swim. I catch myself thinking about when I will be done with a mind to muscle through this.

I let those thoughts dissolve and focus on what I am seeing and hearing and feeling. I explore the visceral experience of the swim.

I see the late morning sun reflecting on the water as I look south which gives it a sparkly, shimmering effect. I observe the white creamy cloud cover to the west butt up against the blue sky to the east.

I delight in the warm water even under the cloud shade and stiff breeze. There is no cold here. My skin feels totally at home in this water, as though this were its native habitat.

I turn and head north and the water takes on a more deep blue with the sun behind me. The cliffs near the Salt Creek lifeguard tower become more and more vibrant the closer I get. The hills along the Laguna coast come to life.

I take pictures of these vistas that I have now photographed what seems like countless times but I still feel compelled to take another shot. It seems the light is different today. Probably because the light is different everyday and it always will be. I embrace the fact that every quality of this environment is constantly changing and if there is one thing I can depend on being the same, it is the constancy of change itself.

I’m thinking of surrender. I can’t control any of this change. I can’t control when the water will get colder or when the water will get warmer after that but I can have certainty in the fact that it will get cold and that it will get warmer again…and so on.

I let myself receive the warmth it gives today.

I finish the swim and the walk up the stairs is so so nice. I spot a small lizard and I am pretty sure than we are of the same mind on this.